Creative Uses for a Loved One’s Stuff
The average American owns a great deal of stuff: toys, clothing, furniture, shoes, jewelry, dishware, tools, knickknacks, gadgets, books, papers. Trinkets from trips we may not remember. Outdoor gear that never saw the light of day. And of course, the junk drawer full of batteries, keys, rubber bands, promotional pens, and outdated charger cables.
These items fill our rooms, closets, garages, and basements. Our stuff may even spill over into a storage facility or two. We try to give away or sell some of it, only to accumulate more. Before long, our home becomes some version of the standing junk drawer.
Minimalism and practices such as “Swedish death cleaning” have entered American culture as a quiet rebellion against consumerism. Such movements challenge us to ask ourselves what really matters and confront an uncomfortable truth: Someone will eventually have to deal with all the stuff we leave behind.
Before you order a dumpster or load the car for another trip to the local donation center, pause for a moment. Among the piles of old dishes, worn sweaters, and forgotten souvenirs you may uncover when a loved one passes away, there may be a few pieces worth rescuing—not for their value, but for their story. Consider setting aside one or two items and turning them into something that will last. A creative keepsake can transform the weight of “stuff” into a tangible reminder of love, history, or a life well lived.
Upcycling the Unclaimed: Arts and Crafts to Ease Pain and Sorrow
It is not uncommon for siblings to fight over Mom’s wedding dress or Dad’s baseball card collection. Someone may claim that a certain painting or handmade quilt was promised to a grandchild, though no one can quite agree which grandchild. Often, items like these do not appear in a will or trust, leaving their distribution in a state of limbo. Without clear instructions, families are left to sort it out themselves, which can turn what should be a tender remembrance into an unexpected source of tension.
Most of these disagreements do not escalate to court involvement the way that larger financial inheritance battles sometimes do. There are plenty of creative ways to fairly divide personal property, such as drawing straws or numbers, holding a family auction, or taking turns choosing an item. And if an item turns out to be worth a great deal of money and no one can agree on who should receive it, the simplest solution may be to sell it and divide the proceeds.
But what happens to those things that were stuffed in a drawer, on the back of a shelf, or in a box alongside other random belongings? Here are a few creative ideas for turning unwanted stuff into a tribute to someone’s life.
Blanket or Quilt from Old Clothes
A “memory quilt” made from patches of shirts, dresses, or ties tells a story—a favorite color, a holiday tradition, a job, a personality—all stitched into something new. Families can make one large quilt or smaller throws so that each child or grandchild has a piece to remember their loved ones by. If your stitching skills are limited, local seamstresses and online artisans can do the work and add embroidered names or dates.
Teddy Bear or Pillow Keepsake
For younger family members, a teddy bear or pillow sewn from a parent’s or grandparent’s clothing can be deeply comforting. Flannel shirts, military uniforms, or soft sweaters work beautifully for these “memory bears.” They are also a way to introduce a loved one’s story to children who may not have known them well, turning ordinary objects into a bridge between generations.
Reupholstered Furniture
An heirloom chair or bench can feel new again when reupholstered with fabric from the deceased loved ones’ clothing, curtains, or linens. Reupholstering can keep a piece of family history in use even after it has been sitting untouched for years. Reupholstery shops can usually subtly incorporate sentimental materials, preserving the original look while incorporating personal significance.
Wedding Dress with a Second Life
A wedding gown can take on new meaning after its moment in the spotlight, whether it is donated to a charity or transformed into a christening outfit, a clutch purse, or home decor. For a dress that carries strong sentimental value, even a small piece of lace or fabric can be preserved and woven into another keepsake, giving everyone who wants to remember the loved one a chance to share in the memory instead of competing for one treasured item.
Diamond from Cremation Ashes
Although not for everyone, some families choose to have a small portion of cremation ashes (cremains) or hair from a deceased loved one transformed into a laboratory-grown diamond. The monthslong process produces a gemstone that can be set into jewelry or displayed. It is one of the more modern, high-tech ways to turn cremains into a lasting memento and reflects a growing trend toward personalized memorials.
More Dramatic Farewell Gestures and Other Memorial Ideas
When journalist Hunter S. Thompson died, his final request was to be blasted into the sky. Thompson’s ashes were loaded into fireworks shells and fired from a cannon on a tall monument on his Colorado property during a memorial attended by about 250 guests, an event largely funded by actor Johnny Depp. Depp said at the time that he was trying to make his friend’s “last wish [come] true.”
After Lemmy Kilmister of rock band Motörhead passed, Metallica’s James Hetfield used a pinch of Lemmy’s ashes mixed into black tattoo ink to get a tattoo as a salute to his musical inspiration and longtime friend. Renato Bialetti, known for popularizing the Moka pot espresso maker that his father invented, had his ashes placed in a replica of the iconic coffeemaker for his burial service.
It is not only celebrities whose deaths are memorialized in unique and public ways. Park benches, for example, often display plaques honoring someone who frequently walked those paths. Memorial trees, gardens, and “adopt-a” programs for trails, parks, zoos, or playgrounds are also popular ways to honor a life in a place the deceased person loved.
Here are a few more creative uses for a loved one’s stuff:
- Turn keys, watches, or jewelry into wind chimes. The soft clinking can be a soothing reminder of a loved one’s presence and shared memories, especially for someone who loved spending time outdoors.
- Create a “memory mosaic.” Use broken china, old buttons, or other small keepsakes to make a framed art piece, tabletop, or stepping stone.
- Make a custom shadowbox. Store photos, letters, or small mementos inside a hollowed-out book or framed box in a way that tells your loved one’s story.
- Transform recipe cards into kitchen art. Scan or photograph handwritten recipes and have them printed on canvas, cutting boards, or tea towels.
- Preserve handwriting or signatures. Turn a loved one’s notes or signatures into engraved jewelry, wall art, or a tattoo stencil.
- Use old vinyl records or CDs as decor. Melt or reshape them into bowls, clocks, or ornaments that carry a bit of that person’s soundtrack.
- Make candles in their favorite mugs or teacups. This is a simple way to reuse everyday items while creating something new that evokes warmth and scent memories.
- Donate instruments, tools, or books in their name. Add an inscription or label inside donated items, such as “In memory of [Name], who believed in sharing what they loved.”
Avoiding the “Stuff” Cascade with an Estate Plan
Most estate plans focus on assets such as real estate, bank or retirement accounts, and investments. Yet it is often the smaller, more personal things—a handwritten note, a favorite flannel, a recipe box, Grandma’s homemade quilt, an antique brooch—that carry the deepest meaning to those left behind.
When personal property is not listed in a will or trust, it is legally considered part of the residue of the estate, that is, everything that is left after final debts, taxes, and expenses have been paid. Understanding the legal implications of what happens to these belongings is important.
Personal property not accounted for in a will or trust can lead to confusion, disputes, or lost value. Loved ones might disagree over what is junk and what has sentimental value. Gifts that were only verbally promised or discussed are not legally enforceable. Several estate planning tools can be used to keep the distribution of personal property organized, intentional, and enforceable.
- Asset inventory. Create a detailed list of what you own, including household items, collectibles, and sentimental pieces, so that your executor knows what exists and where to find it. Be sure to review it often and keep it updated because the stuff we own changes over time.
- Pour-over will. This special type of will ensures that anything you own that is not formally transferred to your trust—often including personal belongings—is “poured” into it at death, simplifying administration and keeping everything under one plan.
- Assignment of personal property. Since most personal belongings are untitled, an assignment of personal property is used to transfer all untitled items, such as household goods, furniture, jewelry, and collectibles, into your revocable living trust during your lifetime. This helps ensure that the trust is properly funded, keeps these items out of probate, and allows them to be distributed under the trust’s terms instead of relying solely on a pour-over will.
- Personal property memorandum. This document, referenced by your will or trust (depending on what state law allows), lets you specify who should receive certain items, including forgotten or newly acquired property, without needing a full will update.
- Residuary clause. This catchall clause should be added to your will or trust to ensure that any property not specifically named elsewhere in the document is still distributed according to your wishes.
- Instructions for disposition. You can include guidance about donating, selling, or recycling unclaimed or unwanted items, helping your loved ones handle the practical side without guilt. Such directions can be made legally binding if included in your will or trust, or you can share them in a separate letter that simply expresses your wishes while allowing your loved ones to decide what feels right. Either way, clearly communicating your preferences can bring them a great deal of relief when the time comes.
- Digital inventory. Increasingly, our possessions may include digital collections such as photos, playlists, social media accounts, and nonfungible tokens (NFTs). Ensure that someone knows what they are and how to access and manage yours.
We all have different ideas about how to best live our lives. These ideas extend to our death and, by extension, our estate plan.
You or a loved one may not have final wishes as flashy as Hunter S. Thompson’s or Renato Bialetti’s. Your idea of what is important might be found in quieter, more subtle, and more personal ways, and in the smallest of items.
Whether it is in the quilt stitched from a father’s work shirts, the jewelry reborn from a grandmother’s brooch, or the bookshelf made from a repurposed old dining table, planning ahead, even for the small stuff, ensures that special memories do not get lost in the cleanup.
Coleman Law can help you as you plan your legacy. We would love to talk to you about how we can help you in this process. Click here to request your free consultation today!
